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Do You Really Know Me?

October 17, 2019 | Hannah Shaffer

I recently attended a conference that was all about being personal. This conference was specifically about being personal with kids, students, and volunteers, but it can apply to anybody. It talked about the idea of being personal rather than shallow. As someone who works with kids every week, do I know (or try to know) these kids personally, or do I go through my week interacting with them on a shallow basis?

This conference caused me to think about relationships. I will be the first to tell you that I am not so great when it comes to relationships. I am a very task-oriented person and can easily walk by 50 people, only asking them about tasks that need accomplished and not about their lives. Being in ministry, this is not always a great quality. Ministry, and really life in general, is all about relationships: most importantly, the relationship we have with Jesus, but secondly, the relationships we have with others. Just as Jesus did, we should be building these relationships by getting to know people personally. I’ve had to take a minute to ask myself, “Am I being shallow or personal when building relationships?” And “How do I work to be more personal?”

They presented five different questions that we can ask in order to know if we are building relationships personally. These questions are:

Do you know my name?

Do you know where I live?

Do you know what matters to me?

Do you know what I can do?

Do you know what I have done?

Now, we must remember that these questions are worded to see if we know kids and students, but I think they can be applied to all ages. When you think through the relationships in your lives, take a minute to think through these questions. Are you being personal with the relationships you are building or shallow?

Further information about these questions can be found in the book, It’s Personal by Reggie Joiner, Kristen Ivy and Virginia Ward.